About a week ago I recieved the shocking news that a dear childhood friend of mine had passed away. News of the demise of a loved one is always hard to take, even when the loved one in question may have been old or sickly in which case the specter of death would probably have been floating around or peeking around the corner. But the news of death is especially shocking and heart wrenching when it is totally unexpected, moreso when it happens to someone as wonderful as my dear friend.
The first wiff I got of the tragedy was on facebook, a mutual friend had posted an RIP. I thought to myself "what kinda sick joke is this??? This is totally bad taste!!!" I was in insant denial mode...
With trembling hands I dialled the mutual friend, only to have my worst fears confirmed! As he gave me the details of what had happened my brain whirled round and round until I had to sit down cos it felt like I was about to pass out. Apparently it was a robbery gone bad and my friend was actually beaten, not shot, or stabbed, but beaten to death. The brutality of what was inflicted on my friend still leaves me in a daze. Nobody deserves to go out like that. Especially not my friend. My friend was the personification of the phrase "nice guy." He was that guy that always had a smile on his face, he was that guy who always had something nice to say to cheer you up, he was the guy who would go out of his way to help out a friend in need, he was the fun loving, happy go lucky guy with a crazy and sometimes warped sense of humour, he was the brilliant guy that somehow missed being classified as a nerd but was rather one of the "cool kids." I still cannot wrap my head around the senselessness of his murder.
One quality which my friend exhibited in life was the ability to draw people to him and to affect their lives positively. People were drawn to him like a moth to a flame...and they always somehow felt better after spending time with him. I have read through the hundreds of tributes written in his honour since his death and the common thread in almost all of them, apart from the pain and grief, is the way he has touched so many people and affected their lives just by being himself. It is because of this that we decided to set up a college fund for his little girl and contributions are presently pouring into that account. He taught us all how to be a positive influence on another person's life and in this little gesture we hope to pass on this legacy to his daughter. We hope she will grow up knowing how great a man her father was. The world would be a better place if there were more people like him on earth...it is surely a colder place with his demise.
One of the things that tugs at my heart about this whole incident is the fact that we had not been in touch for quite a while. I guess I could attribute the loss of contact to life. You know, work, business, bills, etc. It just kinda takes over and you are forced to push everything else aside. We get so caught up in life that we totally forget to live it. And don't be fooled, living it is in the little things, like keeping in touch with old friends, spending time with family, cuddling in front of the TV with your singificant other, watching old Cosby Show or Friends reruns. Those are the moments we remember and truly cherish.
In his death even as in his life, my friend has once again affected me positively by reminding me how important it is to keep in touch with close friends and loved ones. He has shown me that even in the midst of life it is very easy to forget how to live. He has shown me that a smile and a kind word are truly immortal. As a result of this I have committed to getting in touch with all my old friends that I have lost touch with over the years and in the course of life. So if you fall under that category, dont be suprised if you get a call, an sms, an IM or an email from me out of the blue. It is because I appreciate you and I recognize that in some way at some time you have also been a blessing to me.
And if you do not fall under that category and you are simply some random dude or babe who just happened to stumble across my blog then let me encourage you to think back and remember the friends you left behind in the course of life. The ones that mean something to you but you simply lost touch with. The ones you have not spoken to in months simply because you had some petty misunderstanding and you are too proud and petty to pick up the phone and say "Hey!" Re-estblish contact with these people, let them know how much you care, how much you have missed them, how much you appreciate them.
Why? Cause life is simply too short and then one day its gone.
To my friend, my brother, my inspiration. You are truly missed and it is my prayer that one day we will meet again in a better place. But while I am still here I will remember the lessons you have showed me and I will live life, like it was meant to be lived.
Adieu my brother...
El Retardo....signing out.
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