The Gay/Lesbian Marriage Debate

Okay, I guess the "politically correct" phrase would be "Same Sex Weddings." But then I have never made any claim at being politically correct. Actually, I don't give a rat's ass about being politically correct.

Which kind life be this ehhhhhhh???

Oh boy eh!!!!!

Today has been without doubt one of the most "eventless"days of my life!

He's back!

Wow! Its been almost a year since my last post. Not quite a year...but almost. I have on many occasions sat down to record my thuoghts but each time I would just stare blankly until I decide on the futility of my endeavour or simply "Alt-Tab" to facebook or some other random website that catches my fancy. The truth is, sometime after my last blogpost I had a moment of self doubt where I asked myself "what the hell is the point? Who gives a rat's ass about what you think??" This was the singular moment, the singular thought that precipitated my ten-month hiatus. But I'm back now! I think... Well at least I'm back for today, so lets just take it one day at a time. My hiatus period was in many ways a cathartic one for me and so the young man that left you abruptly almost a year ago is in some fundantal ways quite diferent from the one who is returning to you (just as abruptly) today.

Of course a lot has happened in the time I've been away. There have been explosions and threats of explosions; kidnappings; elections won and elections lost; hearts broken and hearts mended; money made and money lost; politicians arrested for fraud; the judicial system made a mockery of; genocides; killing sprees; business leaders embarrased; jobs lost, the list is so long. And in the midst of all the craziness, this young man somehow managed to get married. Hmmm...that's gist for another day.

So anyway I'm back. Reinvented. Reloaded. Revamped.

The most obvious indication that things are different here is the change of name from Retardo to Fortyseven. Truth be told, FortySeven is who I have always been. Retardo was borne out of the need for anonymity while I cut my teeth on this thing called blogging and what a splendid alter-ego he was! He did exactly that which he was created to do and having accomplished his mission I felt the time had come for me to retire him and usher in FortySeven. Now you may discover as time goes on that both identities share a lot in common, like the annoying propensity to wander off into seemingly meaningless ramblings. And of course both of them are highly opinionated, but also there are some disimilaities like the fact that FortySeven is a little bit more of a gentleman that Retardo was....not much more though...just a little. He will still kick ass from time to time for any or no apparent reason!

Also, you may notice that the word "socialite" has been removed from the description. The reason is simple, I have not done any socializing in almost a year...nuff said!

So that's that! I will sign out here for now. I will resist the temptation to go on and on, rambling non-stop. I have no idea how long I will continue this blog, or the things I will blog about, but for as long as I do continue to blog I intend to enjoy it. I think I have realised that its not merely posting the blog that I love but the act of reproducing my oft times meaningless thought into a medium that is understandable and maybe even fun for you to read. I will leave you with a quote:

"Where you end up is not the most important thing. It’s the road you take to get there. The road is what you’ll look back on and call your life."
                                                                                                           -Tim Willey

Here's to a fab week!!

Remember When...

This is one of those blogs that I typed and forgot or simply couldn't be bothered to post at the time I wrote it. Well I decided to post it now.

So its like 4am and I'm wide awake. For some reason I'm being held captive by insomnia...for no just cause! So anyway, I'm in one of those rare nostalgic moods. Remembering my childhood and since I can (and for no other reason) I've decided to share some of those thots with u so here goes.

Remember when VHS and Betamax were the ish?! We would fill our rucksacks with the latest James Bond movies, a three hour tape of the Cosby Show, The Fresh Prince of Bel Air and some random horror flick and spend the entire holiday watching and re-watching those video tapes!

Remember when we used to dub "party mixes" from FM stations on audio tapes? We would stay very focused as we recorded the latest MC Hammer or RUN DMC joint and quickly hit pause the moment we sensed a commercial break coming. And some radio presenters (called DJs back then) had the annoying habit of making annoying, meaningless statements right in the middle of the track!

Remember when Atari was the game console to die for?! If you didn't own an Atari you didn't exist! And the games where so exciting...Pac Man, Tennis, Tetris, did I mention Pac Man? None of this rubbish Tekken, Street Fighter, Pro Evolution Soccer or Halo. Hehehehe....

Remember when we couldn't wait to turn on the TV every afternoon and watch Seseme Street?! What happened to good TV programs? These days kids are getting retarded watching sick shit like teletubbies! Groan...

Remember Voltron, Thunder Sub, Danger Mouse, Super Ted? Sigh...

Remember when it used to be prohibited to take your comics to school but we'd take them anyway and risk them getting confiscated and you punished just so you could show your boys that you had the latest Superman, Spiderman or Green Lantern comics?!

Remember when kids actually used to go out and play with their friends every afternoon and you would be out till late in the evening and there were no cell phones so your parents couldn't call you every 10 minutes to find out where you were or what you were doing and they were not scared that you would be kidnapped?!

Remeber when Hammer Baggies were the ultimate fashion statement?! Good lord!

Remember when boys hated girls and girl hated boys even though they secretly had a huge crush on them?!

Remember when it was a must to have a slum book?! Can you even remember what a slum book is?!

Remember when Kriss Kross convinced us all to wear our clothes backwards?! What were we thinking?! Sheesh!!!

Remember when Millie Vanillie used to sing?! Yeah! Me neither!

Remember when we used to buy Bazooka Joe bubble gum and collect the comics inside?!

Hmmm...those were the days!!!
Sent from my BlackBerry wireless device from MTN

Random Rantings...

Have u ever wondered why things just don't work in this country? Could it be because we, as a people are simply not intelligent? I don't know, you tell me. For example, how difficult can it really be to keep a refinery running at even 50% capacity?

And where's the logic in importing petrol at a higher price than it would cost us to refine it.

We love chocolates, which of course we import at a higher price than the cocoa we export.

And what is it with drivers at intersections and round-abouts? I mean everyone knows the universal driving rule which gives those on the left the right of way. Hence when you approach a round-about you give way for those on your left, which in this case would be those already ON THE ROUND-ABOUT. You do not block them off while simultaneously blaring your horn and giving them "the look."

Then how is it that the legislative houses of most, if not all the states are dominated by at best, semi-literate SOBs who cannot construct one eloquent, scratch that, coherent sentence. Do not delude yourself for one second that this is restricted to the states, cos the center aint any more educated nor enlightened. Little wonder more air than laws is passed in those places.

How come in this day and age we still break into spontaneous celebration shouting "yay NEPA" when power "shows face"??? Isn't it sad that after 50 years of existence we are still crawling along in darkness, barely surviving, while nations that were birthed after we were are celebrating years of uninterupted power supply?

Our government just spent billions of Naira on a one day celebration to mark Nigeria's 50th birthday. BILLIONS!!! And I can't help but ask, couldn't this money, or even a fraction of it, have been put to better use in solving even one of the issues that continually plagues us. For instance, fix (ONCE AND FOR ALL) the death trap called the Benin-Ore Expressway. Why have we been cursed with greedy, spineless, visionless, clueless leaders???

Why is it that when you walk into a fast food outlet or grocery store the people at the counter treat you as if they're doing you a favour??? Its like they all passed through the same school of bad attitudes! WTF happened to "service with a smile" or "the customer is king"???

Then what's up with the complete ineptitude of the Nigeria Police??? I swear I could dedicate an entire blog to those jokers! "The police is your friend" my ass! They police is your friend for as long as there's money flowing from your pocket to their's. The minute it stops- friendship over! And have u noticed how archaic and warp their "investigative procedures" are? A bank gets robbed and the first thing these clowns do is arrest every single traumatized staff! Their excuse? There may be an inside man. There "MAY BE!!!" Oh come in! We all know the truth...that you're quick to arrest everyone cos the first thing on your mind is the bail money! I'm not even going to go into the issue of bail money right now.

Finally, WTF is wrong with Nollywood??? Nollywood turns out movie after mediorce movie with absolutely no thought of developement, growth, imprvement. Its still the same unoriginal, boring, mind numbing plots with the same unintelligent, untalented clueless actors, doing the same God damned rubbish! The dull producers watch a decent Hollywood movie then decide (probably during an alchohol induced episode) "Hey! I can shoot my own version!" He then gets a camcorder, a few extras and a couple of "Grade A" (chuckles) actors together on a Friday and by Sunday, presto! The movie is ready! I'm talking shooting, editing, everything! In two days!! Hollywood needs to learn from us, hehehehehe.... Thank God we have the music industry to reedeem us! I pray someday Nollywood will wake up from its deep slumber...

Until then.

El Retardo signing out...
Sent from my BlackBerry wireless device from MTN

A Tribute To Life

About a week ago I recieved the shocking news that a dear childhood friend of mine had passed away. News of the demise of a loved one is always hard to take, even when the loved one in question may have been old or sickly in which case the specter of death would probably have been floating around or peeking around the corner. But the news of death is especially shocking and heart wrenching when it is totally unexpected, moreso when it happens to someone as wonderful as my dear friend.

The first wiff I got of the tragedy was on facebook, a mutual friend had posted an RIP. I thought to myself "what kinda sick joke is this??? This is totally bad taste!!!" I was in insant denial mode...

With trembling hands I dialled the mutual friend, only to have my worst fears confirmed! As he gave me the details of what had happened my brain whirled round and round until I had to sit down cos it felt like I was about to pass out. Apparently it was a robbery gone bad and my friend was actually beaten, not shot, or stabbed, but beaten to death. The brutality of what was inflicted on my friend still leaves me in a daze. Nobody deserves to go out like that. Especially not my friend. My friend was the personification of the phrase "nice guy." He was that guy that always had a smile on his face, he was that guy who always had something nice to say to cheer you up, he was the guy who would go out of his way to help out a friend in need, he was the fun loving, happy go lucky guy with a crazy and sometimes warped sense of humour, he was the brilliant guy that somehow missed being classified as a nerd but was rather one of the "cool kids." I still cannot wrap my head around the senselessness of his murder.

One quality which my friend exhibited in life was the ability to draw people to him and to affect their lives positively. People were drawn to him like a moth to a flame...and they always somehow felt better after spending time with him. I have read through the hundreds of tributes written in his honour since his death and the common thread in almost all of them, apart from the pain and grief, is the way he has touched so many people and affected their lives just by being himself. It is because of this that we decided to set up a college fund for his little girl and contributions are presently pouring into that account. He taught us all how to be a positive influence on another person's life and in this little gesture we hope to pass on this legacy to his daughter. We hope she will grow up knowing how great a man her father was. The world would be a better place if there were more people like him on earth...it is surely a colder place with his demise.

One of the things that tugs at my heart about this whole incident is the fact that we had not been in touch for quite a while. I guess I could attribute the loss of contact to life. You know, work, business, bills, etc. It just kinda takes over and you are forced to push everything else aside. We get so caught up in life that we totally forget to live it. And don't be fooled, living it is in the little things, like keeping in touch with old friends, spending time with family, cuddling in front of the TV with your singificant other, watching old Cosby Show or Friends reruns. Those are the moments we remember and truly cherish.

In his death even as in his life, my friend has once again affected me positively by reminding me how important it is to keep in touch with close friends and loved ones. He has shown me that even in the midst of life it is very easy to forget how to live. He has shown me that a smile and a kind word are truly immortal. As a result of this I have committed to getting in touch with all my old friends that I have lost touch with over the years and in the course of life. So if you fall under that category, dont be suprised if you get a call, an sms, an IM or an email from me out of the blue. It is because I appreciate you and I recognize that in some way at some time you have also been a blessing to me.

And if you do not fall under that category and you are simply some random dude or babe who just happened to stumble across my blog then let me encourage you to think back and remember the friends you left behind in the course of life. The ones that mean something to you but you simply lost touch with. The ones you have not spoken to in months simply because you had some petty misunderstanding and you are too proud and petty to pick up the phone and say "Hey!" Re-estblish contact with these people, let them know how much you care, how much you have missed them, how much you appreciate them.

Why? Cause life is simply too short and then one day its gone.

To my friend, my brother, my inspiration. You are truly missed and it is my prayer that one day we will meet again in a better place. But while I am still here I will remember the lessons you have showed me and I will live life, like it was meant to be lived.

Adieu my brother...

El Retardo....signing out.